Kittums and ....Sex

 

In the last issue of Kittums, I revealed Kittums' secret (and not so secret) love of masturbating. Now, I must tell you of Kittums' life as a voyeur. If there is a sexual act of any sort, involving one or more persons, Kittums insists upon being in the room, at least, if not actually trying to interfere in other ways. I am unsure if this is done out of jealousy, boredom, or Kittums' own sexual interests, but regardless, if there's something sexy going on, you can be sure that Kittums will be there too.

 

KITTY BIRTHDAYS...

Cat Birthdays happen only once a year, so they call for celebrating. Any excuse for a party. Invite all your friends! Get party hat! Buy catnip for your kitty! And make KITTY BIRTHDAY CAKE!!

You need:

1 can wet cat food

a few pieces of dry cat food

a candle

Open canned food and carefully plop it onto a plate without disturbing its cake-like shape. Decorate with pieces of cat chow, stick in candle. Voila! Kitty will love it.

 

Kitty Dream

I had a dream that Kittums and Jesus both died. Which is a pretty sad thought, but in the dream, they both became kitty angels -- they were big and soft and puffy and had wings and were hovering around me, which was kinda neat.

For some* this has conjured up images of flying cats, along with the notion of "cat-paper" instead of flypaper -- big sticky sheets of paper hanging from the ceiling to catch fliying kitties; and kitty-zapping lights...bzzzt bzzzzzzzzt.

*or rather, Lance

 

 

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